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For every generation, there are events that shake the very foundation of society. For us, quite possibly, one of those events came yesterday afternoon. I’m sure someday we’ll all remember where we were when we found out Steven Tyler left American Idol.
It started out as a nice enough day. I did my Brazilian Butt Lift workout, got a manicure, and I was out in my backyard working on my savage tan, when my phone rang. It was my friend Ro calling from the correctional facility. When you’re locked up, you don’t get to make too many calls, so I knew this was important. I quickly turned down the volume on Slippery When Wet (my official tanning soundtrack) to listen carefully to Ro’s news. By now, you must be wondering why Ro is incarcerated. Well, listen and listen good: It’s none of your frickin’ business. Alright? All you need to know is Ro is innocent. She got a bad rap. She was railroaded. So mind your own business. If there’s one thing I don’t like it’s a busybody. I don’t like rats either. So watch your step. Keep your trap shut.
Anyway, Ro was on laundry duty when she heard that Steven Victor Tallarico, the demon of screamin’, would be leaving American Idol. Now there’s absolutely no reason to watch that show. If I didn’t like those Housewives of New Jersey, Jerseylicious, and Big Ang so much, I wouldn’t even have a television. There’s nothing but garbage on TV nowadays. We can’t they have a nice show starring Tony Danza or John Stamos. Madonne!
The good news is that Steven T. will be focusing all his energy on Aerosmith. I hope to see all of you July 24th at Aerosmith show at the Izod Center in a few weeks!!!
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Full name: Gina Maria Tarantella DOB: None of your frickin' business.Hometown: Elmwood Park...EP 4 Life!Favorite Food: Sfogliatelle Favorite Music: Bon Jovi #1 always!! Favorite Beverage: Sambuca or GallianoFavorite Athletes: John Franco, Lee Mazzilli, Craig Biggio, Rick Cerone, Jason Grilli, Vinny Testaverde, Dan Marino, Joe Montana Celebrity Crush: Jon Francis Bongiovi, Tony Danza, Frank Stallone Favorite Quotation: Take my hand. We'll make it. I swear.
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