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Many of you are familiar with my good friend and WDHA Morning Jolt’s executive producer Svetlana Perestroika. I have received an inordinate amount of email from the menfolk regarding Svet’s relationship status and others want to know if she’s related to Maria Sharapova. Let me take this opportunity to answer your inquiries: None of your business and no.
Svetlana was born in the U.S.S.R. Her parents were circus performers. As a young girl, she trained as a gymnast. Svet was a skilled athlete. Svet was also a dreamer. And she dreamed of coming to America. From the moment she bought her first Ratt album on the black market, she knew that the United States would one day be her home.
What do think life in Moscow was easy for young Svetlana? She trained tirelessly on the parallel bars and the balance beam, but as hard as she worked, she still wasn’t good enough to make the Soviet Olympic team. Her only option was to join the circus, so her parents put in a good word with the ringmaster and before you know it, Svetlana became the Soviet Union’s greatest trapeze artist. Her beauty and athleticism made her the most famous blonde bombshell behind the Iron Curtain. That, however, was not enough for our Svetlana. She longed to reach the shores of America. But how?? Svetlana would lie awake at night devising elaborate plans to escape from her circus hell. Finally, she mustered the courage to cause a diversion involving very talented circus monkeys on unicycles and off she ran. She was a very fast runner. Luckily, she saw a train and rode the rails to freedom. Well, she still had to hop a tramp steamer and make it to New Jersey, but she finally arrived.
Svet worked a number of odd jobs, until one day about 9 years ago, as fate would have it, she was thrown from a car window on Horsehill Road right in front of WDHA. She was rescued by WDHA’s kindly promotions coordinator Erin Doherty, who gave her a cup of tea, a DHA t-shirt, and tickets to a Kid Rock concert. On her way back from the show, she met Monaghan and Mulligan at a convenience store. Svetlana and Mulligan both love non-dairy creamer, so they became fast friends. Mulligan convinced Monaghan to make her new Russian friend part of the Jolt and the rest, as they say, is history.Madonne!! Is that some story or what?? Who else is going to tell you a story with frickin' unicycle monkeys?
Thank you, Svetlana, for being a good friend and for reminding us that the American Dream is alive and well. Grazie, la mia bella amica!!
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Full name: Gina Maria Tarantella DOB: None of your frickin' business.Hometown: Elmwood Park...EP 4 Life!Favorite Food: Sfogliatelle Favorite Music: Bon Jovi #1 always!! Favorite Beverage: Sambuca or GallianoFavorite Athletes: John Franco, Lee Mazzilli, Craig Biggio, Rick Cerone, Jason Grilli, Vinny Testaverde, Dan Marino, Joe Montana Celebrity Crush: Jon Francis Bongiovi, Tony Danza, Frank Stallone Favorite Quotation: Take my hand. We'll make it. I swear.
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