Madonne!! I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time. I've been frickin' busy putting together a team of Foxy Boxers for the 2016 Olympics. Why hasn't anyone done this? Do I have to frickin' think of everything?? Then there's all the stupid parties I have to go to.  Of course, everyone needs me to help with the food because I'm the best cook ever.  Can you believe my sister-in-law doesn't know what to do with broccoli rabe? Stunada! Disgraziata!! I threw a pot of risotto at her.  What a frickin' mess! My daughter Antonella cleaned up the cucina.  She's good.  Real good.  And she's a tough girl too.  She'll scrape your face off with a Brillo pad, so you don't want to mess with her.  I don't raise any candy asses.

Isn't it great that the kids are back in school?? I love this time of year!  So much more free time.  So who wants to go to Zumba class with me later today? Speaking of class, how much fun did we have in school?? Remember all the good times?? The pep rallies, the food fights, skipping class, detention hall, the fights...Such beautiful memories!!

We learned so much useful stuff too, like what are the chemical properties of a stink bomb? I loved physics too.  How much force is required to flip a Dodge Swinger onto its side in the high school parking lot??  I learned plenty about business too, like how to dismantle an entire typewriter in 20 seconds flat. This skill came in handy on my first job when I ripped that typewriter apart and threw it out the frickin' window.  That'll teach you to ask how long my break was! Madonne!!  Mind your own business!

All that time I spent in detention hall really sharpened my writing skills too. I was writing alll the time. I wrote about all my favorite bands on the desks, all over the walls, and in the textbooks.  I've always loved to write.  I'm a regular Jackie frickin' Collins.  Thank you for reading my blog.  Grazie, mi amici!!!  Ciao, bella!!